I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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