I wannas sexs uuuuu
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
