I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
