my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
