His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
