im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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