Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
