I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
