he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
