Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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