it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
