just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
