i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
