Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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