how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
