And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
