He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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