Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
