This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Bring me that man meat
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
