the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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