the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
