cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
