THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
