What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
