it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
