idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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