I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
