You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
