I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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