he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
