Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
