a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
