my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
