when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
