Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
