When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
