it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
