i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
