I just made out with a guy for $7.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I supernannyed him into submission
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
