Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
