Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
