1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
