My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize