Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
