my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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