I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize