When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
