Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
