I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
