YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
