Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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