It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize