those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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