Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
