We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
