Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
