wat bout pragnant strippers??
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
