Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
