Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize