He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm passing your future prison.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
