Pants 0. Shit 1.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
if i died would you start the facebook group?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
