I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
