I think im going to throw up on grandma
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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