Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
