why didn't you poke me back
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
