he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
