Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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