I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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