I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
