Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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