I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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