I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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