what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I love how my cats smell like pot.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize